


A Feather for Lyanna

by Sookiestark



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diary/Journal, Epistolary, F/M, Why a feather?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-27 19:43:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15031877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sookiestark/pseuds/Sookiestark
Summary: Did you ever wonder why Robert left a feather on Lyanna's grave in Season 1? Here is a story to answer that question





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, at the beginning of the story, there is going to be some Robert/Lyanna love. If that is not your cup of tea, it might be best for you not to read it. It is a canon divergence, not because the story's end will change, but because I have no idea what happened in canon. This is what I imagine might have happened. 
> 
> Also, there will not be much by the way of love letters between Lyanna and Rhaegar- If any at all...
> 
> Lastly, I wrote this in epistolary format, which is to say the entire story will be told through letters, diary excerpts, etc. I have never written this kind of story and I was excited about the challenge. Also, I kind of love this style. That being said, please have a bit of willing suspension of disbelief about how frequently Westeros might get letters. Also, I am sure there are going to be letters that need many more titles and headers, but rather than spending too much time on that I will try to get the letters and diary excerpts written in a timely fashion. That being said, life happens and this story might take some time. Please have patience. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

On the fourth month in the 278th year of Aegon’s Conquest

 

Dearest Brandon,

I hope you are well. Father is well. Benjen is well. All is well at Winterfell. It is the same here every day. Every day is the same, Nothing ever changes or is different. Sometimes, I think I write to you or Ned just to break up the routine of the days here. 

Wyllis still has not gotten better and Maester Walys does not think he will. Wyllis hasn’t had a spell since the one he had the day we were in the yard before you both left last time. But his faculties or his speech has not returned to him either. Father has got him working in the stables because, even as a boy, he is stronger than most men full grown. All he says is Hodor. Just Hodor... Hodor... Hodor. 

Father gets angry when the stable boys call him Hodor and say he will be called Wyllis. Yesterday, Benjen asked Father at dinner why it mattered what we called Wyllis, as he no longer seems to mind anything anyone and wanders around the castle in that happy daze. Father told him that it is our duty as Lords of Winterfell to care for all our people and our keep. Wyllis is a good boy and still helpful in the stables and kitchens. It is our duty to show our respect and care for him and his family and their service and loyalty. After all, winter is coming and the lone wolf dies but the pack survives and all the other things father always says.

I want you to know I do not think you or Ned did anything to bring this unfortunate condition on him and neither does Maester Wallys. I know that Father blamed you both and was stern, but I do not think he blames you either. We all know that Father is often hard and stern in appearance but inside he loves us very much. I just think it is harder for him to show it since Mother died. 

I am so excited for you to come home for my name day. Father says we can ride to the pond in the wolfswood to swim. We received word yesterday that Ned will be coming home, as well. He is bringing his foster brother, the heir to Storm’s End, Robert Baratheon, as well as Elbert Arryn. The way Ned goes on and on about Robert I am interested to meet the boy behind the stories. With all these guests at Winterfell, Father said we might even have a small feast and invite the Houses near to Winterfell, like House Cerwyn and House Poole. Perhaps, you should bring the Ryswell heir, Roger, and his sister, Barbery. After all, most of your letters are filled with stories about her. It would be nice to meet the girl since I have read of her so often.

 

Perhaps, Father will even hire some musicians from White Harbor to come and play so we can dance. The ones he hired from Wintertown at the last Harvest festival were terrible. 

 

Old Nan has promised to make her steak and kidney pies, as well as apple tarts for when the Stark brothers return to Winterfell. I think she is delighted at the thought to see you home. After all, you have always been her favorite. Everyone is excited. It feels as if we have cleaned the entire keep in preparations. Your rooms have been cleaned, aired out, and thoroughly scrubbed. Benjen and I had hoped to leave you a present in your mattress but Mae caught us and chased us out before we had time to finish the prank. 

Ned says he is bringing me home a present to celebrate my name day. He says I will love it. I wonder if you are bringing me home a gift and if I will love it as much as Ned’s.

You need to write more. Ned tries to write once a moon, but he rarely says anything noteworthy. Your letters are the ones filled with adventure and laughs and I love them. Please write more, Brandon. Winterfell is so boring and I love to receive letters, as it helps relieve the monotony of the days. 

 

I saved the either best or worse news for the end. Recently, I heard father and Maester Walys talking of marriage proposals for you, me, and Ned. Maester Walys says Father should build alliances with the other great Houses, to forge alliances, solidify our strength, and show the rest of the Seven Kingdoms that we are not some wild and uncivilized place. Father agrees with him.

Two nights ago, Father spoke to me after dinner. He says that because I will be twelve, it is time to find a husband, a good match for me. 

I know how Father can be and his hard-heartedness often gets worse when I become stubborn, or difficult. Old Nan told me to try and be more gentle, so I tried. In a sweet voice, I told him I understand duty and the ways in which ladies contribute to their Houses. I have been taught these principles since birth. I know there is no room to argue with Father once his mind is made up. I know this is my role to play and I will not fight him. 

Then, I spoke as sweetly as I could muster. I told him how I would miss the North and Winterfell. I would miss Benjen and I would miss him. I spoke of my love for riding across the wide expanses of the lonely Northern wilderness and how I would miss it. 

Maybe, I got to caught up in my feelings because as I listed all the reasons I would miss the North, my gentle speech and demeanor fell away. Soon, I was yelling about how I did not want to be saddled with some milk-sop, Sothron boy, who was weak and lacked spirit from the gentle weather and attitudes. Brandon, I told Father that I will only marry for love. I want a husband who is brave and true, like Father; a man who is strong, a fierce warrior; a man who loves to ride as much as I do. I even said I would like a husband who desires me as much as I do him. 

After my outburst, if you could have seen the color Father’s face became, I thought he would beat me like when I was little or that maybe he would burst. Ir was then I realized that I had misspoken, but it was too late. Father told me that I had no say in who I would marry. It was his decision as my father and patriarch. He said he should have beaten my willful spirit out long ago. Then, he said he would marry me to Ned’s foster father, old Jon Arryn, if it pleased him. 

In my wildness, I spoke back to him. I told him to marry me to Oberyn Martell, so I can be wild, unconventional, and Dornish. Perhaps, a Martell would let me carry a sword and teach me, as I have wanted. As soon as the words slipped out, I wanted to take them back. I thought Father was certain to send me to my room for a week or more for such disobedience. Instead, he looked at me for a long time and then he laughed. For a moment, I thought I had made Father go mad.

He hugged me and said he could see no benefit in such a marriage alliance, to marry me to a Martell. Then he promised me he would not marry me to a man I would not consent to marry. Brandon, perhaps, he does love us in spite of his cold demeanor.

I cannot wait to see you. 

All my love,

Your one and only sister,

Lyanna


	2. Chapter 2

In the fifth month of the 278th year of the Conquest

To Lord Paramount of the Stormlands and Lord of Storm’s End, Steffon Baratheon 

Dear Father,

I hope you and mother are well, as are Stannis and Renly. I wonder if Renly is able to hold the wooden toy sword I got for him when I was home. He must be walking now. 

I am sorry that I do not write as often as I should. I know that Mother loves to hear from me and I know she is disappointed that I do not write as often as I should. However, I hate writing. Words are for Maesters and books. My days are too full to sit and write, Give me a sword, a horse, a bow and I can do something useful; give me a quill and I can write about the useful deeds of other men. When I write, I feel like I am useless. I find it exhausting.

I did receive Mother’s letter that you are heading to Essos to do the King’s business and find Prince Rhaegar a worthy bride. Please tell Mother, when you come home, I will come home and visit, I promise. 

If there was ever a place that I would call home outside of Storm’s End, it would be the Vale. It is a land of hearty men, large dangerous beasts, mountains jutting from the sea, high altitudes, mountain air. If I didn’t have a home as lovely as Storm’s End, I would become a Knight of the Vale for certain and pledge my sword to a fine lord like Lord Arryn. 

We just returned from Runestone. Lord Royce had a tourney to celebrate the birth of his newest son. I am very pleased and proud to tell you I was the winner in the melee, beating men twice my age, who are renown in the lands for their skill. I have to believe I owe some of it to the war hammer you gave me the last time I came home. 

Lord Royce was really skilled, as were Lords Redfort and Waynwood, but with my hammer you, no one could stand against me. Even Lord Arryn’s nephew and heir, Elbert, could not stand against me with my hammer and it is said he is the best warrior in the Vale. Lord Arryn was so proud of my skill and said I was like the Warrior himself. 

Ned did not compete, but I have fought him enough in the yard to know, that he would not have had a chance against me. I feel most alive when swinging my hammer or a sword. You have always I said I was like your father, Ormund, who loved a good fight, and I agree with you, Father. It is the best feeling in the world.

I wanted to thank you again for your permission to go to Winterfell with Ned in the next fortnight. I am very excited to see the North and hunt in the wolfswood. I will kill a wolf or a bear and send the skin home to you and Mother. I promise to write, at least once of my adventures. 

 

As to the conversation for prospective brides, I know that Mother is anxious to see me wed and with all the talk of finding a good match for the Prince, it has compounded the thought in her head. Perhaps, we can wait. There is still some time. After all, the Prince is three years older than I am. I am still just sixteen and though some men in my position are married, there is no rush. Father, you are in good health and will rule the Stormlands for at least another generation. We are in no rush to find a suitable girl. Perhaps, in a year or two, we can find one. 

Father, I know that Lord Arryn wrote to you to tell you while I was a Runestone, I was caught with a serving girl in the larder. I swear on all that I am that the girl was not a maid and she was very willing. It was she who took me there after I won the melee. It was a few kisses but she was the one who kissed me at first and whispered wanton things in my ear. 

Lord Arryn explained and I do understand the implication to my honor and our house. I understand as the eldest and the future lord of Storm's End, I must be a man of honor and a man the other lords will follow, a leader. I will try to not let myself be found in such an uncompromising situation. I would not want to dishonor you or Lord Arryn. 

I wish you a safe and successful journey.

Love, 

Robert


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary, 

I am not sure this is how it is done or used but Ned says that many ladies in the Vale and in the South keep a diary. You are my present from Ned. At first, I thought you were a small book, black leather bound with runes inscribed in silver. When I opened it and found it full of blank pages, I thought it was a jape, a trick. If it had been Brandon or Benjen I would have expected it, but Ned does not usually trick or play in such ways. I had looked at him and he had explained that the pages are blank so that I can write down my thoughts about the day or important things that happened. I had wanted to say nothing exciting or important happens in Winterfell but it was Ned and he had a sad face like he had gotten the wrong gift. I hugged him and thanked him.

I am certain that Benjen will steal you and read you and so I do not know if I trust you enough to put my thoughts or secrets. However, since you are a present from Ned, I will use you and see if I find a diary an agreeable task. 

I should say that usually, nothing exciting happens at Winterfell but the last few days have been filled with excitement. Diary, let me tell you about the first day when Ned came home. 

I woke in the morning and kept looking to the Kingsroad. We had received a raven the night before that Ned had arrived in White Harbor safely and that the Manderlys were escorting them. I kept looking for Brandon and the Ryswells from the Rills. Finally, after half a day of waiting, a group of men, horses, and wagons crested the hill. From the sigils, I could see the Cerwyns, the Manderlys, Ned, and his foster brothers from the Vale arrived. The Royces came with Ned, as we are cousins and it is good to spend time with them. 

Benjen was so excited that he had said he had not seen so many different houses at Winterfell at one time in his life. I had thought back and he probably does not remember when Mother died and the entire North came to pay their respects. Since then, we have not had as many feasts or gatherings as we had in the past. 

Ned looked so big. How much has he grown in two years? He almost said he did not recognize me. He was as tall as Brandon this time and he is as broad. He swung me in a circle, as he and Brandon have done since I was little. He introduced me to Lord Elbert Arryn, a thin, male with soft brown hair and bright blue eyes who bowed with a flourish. I noticed how he wore the blue armor that matched his sigil and his eyes. He was handsome if perhaps too thin.

Of course, we spent a great deal of time listening to Lord Wyman Manderly, telling of us of the journey in great detail, who brought his son and heir, Wylis. Lord Wyman looks at me like I am a tourney prize, but Wylis is very respectful. Of course, in some ways, I am a prize, Lord Stark’s only daughter, a fine match for any of the Northern lords’ sons. 

I don't think I would mind being married off to the Manderlys or Wylis. He does seem to have an appetite to match his father’s, but he is good on a horse and a knight, as well. He is always respectful and he seems to listen to my opinions when we talk. He likes music and he loves to dance. 

Lord Cerwyn brought his son, Cley, and his daughter, Jonelle. Jonelle is a good friend and I wish to see her more. 

In the midst of all the introductions, a young man stepped beside Ned and took my breath away. I have never seen a man more handsome and I doubt I ever will. He was tall and broad and his hair was long and dark with curls. He has had the beginnings of a beard on his face. His eyes were the deepest brightest blue I have ever seen. When he took my hand, he looked in my eyes I never wanted to stop looking into his eyes. They seemed to see right into me. 

Ned introduced him as Robert Baratheon, heir to Storm’s End and his best friend and foster brother. Robert was in black leather and wore both a sword and a huge hammer on his hips. He had a smile and a laugh. He said, “Ned, you have never told me how pretty your little sister was.”

Then, Robert bowed and kissed my hand. His lips were soft and I could feel the roughness of his beard. I wondered how it would feel if he kissed me on my lips. When he looked back into my eyes, I was blushing furiously.

As if he knew all my thoughts, he smiled and said, “Perhaps, you will save a dance or two at your birthday feast for me, my Lady.”

With that, he disappeared with Ned and Elbert to explore the castle and the godswood. I spent most of the rest of the day, wandering around, listening to Jonelle talk while looking to see where they had gone. 

It was almost dinner and the sky to the east was starting to darken when Brandon’s wolf sigil broke the western hills. With the flags bearing the grey wolf of Winterfell, there were the flags of a golden horse head on a field of bronze, the sigil of House Ryswell. 

Brandon rode in the yard and leaped from his horse. Even before hugging father, he had me in his arms and he was swinging me around. However, even though I was so happy to see him, I knew that all were watching and I did not want the guests to think I was a little girl. After all, I am twelve and old enough to be wed, not a child. 

Brandon introduced us to Roger Ryswell, who he has brought home several times before. He also brought Roger’s sister, Barbery Ryswell. Barbery was a pretty girl with brown hair and brown eyes. Though she was polite and well-mannered, she only had eyes for Brandon and kept looking to him. I noticed the familiar way that she would take his arm or the way Brandon would glance at her with a half-smile. Brandon has written to tell me of how much he enjoys her company and I wonder if they know how obviously in love they are. I wonder why they would develop such an affection for each other, knowing that father hopes to find him a Southron bride. I am certain it will end with heartbreak. 

Brandon brought me a horse for my gift. She is beautiful, a black mare with spots of white on her legs. It looks like she has boots on. I name her Danny, after Danny Flint who was in the Night’s Watch. Father said it was a dark name to name a horse for a girl and I laughed. Brandon said she was the best horse that was in the pack and the Ryswells are known to be some of the best horse breeders in the Seven Kingdoms. 

Brandon and I even took her for a quick ride down the kingsroad. She is fast and sure-footed and beautiful. When we got back in the yard, I hugged him and thanked him for such a great gift. I remember Father was smiling, as was Benjen and Ned. I think it was the first time we have all been together laughing in so long. It was nice to be together, happy as a family.

After we dressed and washed for dinner, we had a feast for my name day. Lord Manderly brought twelve musicians for my name day, as well as jugglers and a dwarf for entertainment. There was roasted pig with apples and potatoes, turkey stuffed with stuffing and leeks and onions, kidney pies, and salted eel in a mushroom sauce, as well as honeyed berries in cream sauce and apple tarts. Since it was my twelfth name day, Father even allowed me to drink wine with no water. 

Jonelle had done my hair in braids like they do in the South. She may be plain but her fingers are much more clever and deft than mine and she made my hair look beautiful. 

There was music in the hall and the tables were moved so we could dance. Father danced with me first. He told me that I looked like my Mother, and she would have been so proud to see me all grown and a lady. 

Right after my dance with Father, he raised his glass and spoke, “I want to thank you for coming and helping me celebrate my only daughter’s twelfth name day, Lyanna.” The hall cheered and I remembered being so proud. 

Then, Father lifted a piece of parchment, “I received some more good news that I would like to share with you. Lord Hoster Tully of Riverrun has written and today we have sealed the betrothal of our eldest children, Brandon shall marry Catelyn Tully.”

The hall cheered though I could tell not all were happy about the announcement. Brandon looked to Barbery who seemed pale and sad but kept smiling. 

Brandon had already had my hand to dance with me after Father. He took me and smiled and said I was beautiful. But I could tell in his eyes he wanted to speak with Barbery. After Brandon, I danced with Ned. Brandon is a good dancer but Ned is a bit more shy, too hesitant. I think he only danced with me for practice or obligation. Benjen was next. When I was done with all my brothers, I looked up to find Robert with his hand out and a smile that was dazzling. 

He spoke, “Perhaps, I might sneak in the line since I am like a brother to your brother. Doesn’t that make me family?”

Robert laughed and pulled me to the floor before I could protest. I knew that all the Northern lords were a bit annoyed that he would go out of turn, but Robert was so charming, it is hard to stay angry at him. His hands were so big and he was so tall. But he never stopped looking in my eyes, laughing. He was the best dancer I have ever danced with. I swear it was if we were gliding over the stones, lighter than air. 

“You were too pretty for me to not and steal you away from all these other lords.” Laughing as if we shared a secret, Robert’s eyes burned into mine. I had almost thought he had forgotten about me completely since he had not sought me out all day. However, in his arms, I felt that he must have been thinking of me all day, whether he had shown it or not. After all, in his arms, I felt like I was the only woman he ever wanted to dance with, ever.

We must have danced three or four dances. Every time, another man would come to take my hand, Robert would say, “Once more, my lord. I apologize but once more.”

Finally, he whispered to me, as he was about to hand me to a very irritated Wylis Manderly, “Lya, I apologize I did not bring you a gift, but I will give you anything I have to give you. What would you like?”

Imagine, the most handsome, dashing knight using my family’s pet name as he whispered to me. It was very intimate and I am certain I turned red from the familiarity of such an act. It brought images of him calling me Lya in a variety of situations and some were very wanton. 

To be honest, I had wanted to ask for a kiss. My heart was beating and I felt wild and free. I wanted a kiss from Robert Baratheon more than anything. I wanted my first kiss to be with the future Lord of Storm’s End. Diary, to be totally honest, I wanted not only my first kiss but all the kisses I will ever have to be from Robert Baratheon. 

However, I remembered my place, my station, my honor, and my birth, so instead, I smiled and said, “I will hold you to that, Robert.’

He had laughed and went to drink and win the hearts of all my father’s bannermen. 

Tomorrow, we will have a small contest. Father won’t call it a tourney, but we will have a melee, a stone throwing contest, an archery contest, and other events. I am so excited I do not think I will be able to sleep. All I can do is think of him whispering my name as he kisses me. It burns my mind when I close my eyes. I feel breathless and restless. This is why my father says I have wolfsblood because I am wild and unladylike. Perhaps, Robert could tame me. 

Good night


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I believe Ned says at some point in the books that Lyanna would have a sword if his father allowed it. While writing this, that quote came up in my head and I wondered how did Lyanna learn to fight if she was not allowed to do so. I imagine some she picked up surrounded by three brothers but I thought who better to teach her some of the basics but Robert.

To the Warden of the West and Lord of the Eyrie and Vale, Jon Arryn

Dear Jon,

I am writing to tell you of my adventures here in Winterfell, but there is another reason I am writing to you. You have long been my conscience, keeping me on the good and noble path and I think I may have done something you would disapprove of. Often, I find myself doing things that my heart and will cry out to act on and I follow heedlessly. As always later, I am filled with doubt or regret and feel I must come to you for advice and counsel. Perhaps, it is just my nature, the Baratheon spirit that compels me to act impulsively. Perhaps, that is why father chose you to be my foster father because you help me and remind me of the right path. 

In this matter, I do not believe I was wrong but I believe I may have overstepped. 

Before you jump to conclusions, I have not dishonored any maidens, though there are several women who would be affable to some of my attention, I have not. I have been too busy. 

Winterfell is so different from Storm’s End or the Eyrie. The North does not seem to have the same fascination with the King and his court and the politics. Though I have heard Lord Rickard has his eyes on the South, there seem to be none of the artifices I find in the South. There does not seem to be the bickering or the struggle to outdo each other. I find the North a wild place, full of trees and animals as if time is still in the age of the First Men here.   
The Stark family loves each other and it makes me wish I was closer to Stannis and Renly. Brandon is a good brother and reminds me a bit of myself, except that he is given to boasting. Brandon is good on a horse and with a sword, and a good companion. Unlike Ned, he is talkative and seems to have a great deal of charm with the fairer sex. I find he is good to have when playing cards or drinking, or practicing in the yard. He says he might take me to Wintertown to explore the towns and have a taste of their ale. 

Lord Rickard is stern and serious. I do not think I have seen him smile once this whole time. I think Ned hopes to be like his father when he grows up. Lyanna is a magical thing. She is often laughing or riding. She is a good dancer and quick on her feet. She is so small. I swear I could wrap my hands around her waist and my fingers would touch. Benjen is a curious boy and his sister’s shadow. Unlike Stannis, Benjen seems to listen to his elder brother’s every word and take it as law. He is a good boy. 

Today was the contests. I did well among the melee and knocked Ned’s brother Brandon down a few pegs. He did not keep his shield up and I rang his head like it was a bell. I helped him up but it was funny to see the heir of Winterfell remember his place. 

Finally, I was beaten by a man from House Umber. They call him Jon but he is known as Greatjon due to his size. I promised I would beat him in a drinking contest later and we had a good laugh. He seems like a good fellow. I came in third at the stone throwing contest. I did not think it bad for my first time and since never in my life had I thrown a stone. 

I was watching the archery contest and saw that Lyanna, Ned’s sister, was competing and doing very well against men. Lyanna was doing so well I thought she would win. In fact, I was about to place a wager on such. She has a fine eye and a steady hand. You could see the pride rolling off her and she had the skill to match it. 

As a guest of the Starks, I was sitting near Ned and his father, Rickard. It was the final round and Lyanna was up against three finalists. She went to shoot when her father coughed. 

Lyanna looked at her father and lowered her head. The next three shots she took she missed. I felt such anger for her knowing her father told her to miss with his stern glance and cough as a warning. She placed fourth but she should have gotten first. 

 

If you could have seen the hurt in her eyes to have to throw the contest and take third because she is a girl and a lady, you would have been angry as I was. It angered me. I’d rather she'd beaten the lords with her skill. Let the lords nurse their own hurts. She deserved first place. 

Afterward, before the feast, I found myself looking for her to see how she was doing. I found her in the godswood of Winterfell. The godswood is not a garden like Eyrie or even the tidy and trimmed godswood at Storm’s End It is a deep, endless, ancient forest, full of twisted trees and bleeding weirwoods with their red sap. 

Lyanna had a stick and was hitting branches of an oak tree. She seemed sad and I wanted to cheer her up. She wanted to learn how to fight with a sword but her father did not think it proper. In order to cheer her up, I told her I would teach her how to use a sword. She told me her father disapproved and would not allow it. I told her it would be a secret and we would not have to tell. My name day present to her.

She was eager to learn, more eager than most squires. If you could have seen her smile, you, even you, with your honor and propriety would have promised to teach her. I told her to bring a chaperone so no one would question my intentions or her honor and we would start the next day in the late afternoon before dinner when there would be time to meet. On the first day, she brought her younger brother, Benjen, to chaperone. I gave her an old sword for a squire. I must have used to train someone. I don't even know why I had brought it. 

Every night I go and teach her and we talk about our lives and I listen to her stories. I want you to know. I have not kissed her or brought her dishonor in any way. I just teach her to fight and then we talk among the weirwoods and pines. I cannot tell Ned or Elbert but I want someone to know and it always feels better when I tell you my faults.

I know what you will say. I can hear your voice over my shoulder as if you sat there. You think I should stop. I will not stop the lessons it brings her too much joy and that pleases me. Just remember I will leave in a few weeks and she will have to find a way to continue her lessons on her own. No one will ever know what I have done and there was no harm in what I have done. It made her happy and if you could see her smile, you would know I had no other choice.

 

I knew just telling you would make me feel better and it has. I hope you are well. I will bring Elbert and Ned back in one piece even if they are battered and bruised, from us practicing in the yard. Next week, Lord Rickard says he will let us go hunting in the wolfswood. 

I wish you well and good fortune, 

Robert Baratheon


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Diary

I am sorry I have not written in you every night but so many things have happened wonderful things. I am hesitant to write it down but I know that my maids cannot read and I do not think Father would bother. Benjen already knows. 

It started at the archery tournament. Father had warned me before the guests had come to not overstep. He told me I was a woman and barely grown and though he would allow me to compete, I should not win or even come close. “It will make our bannermen upset to be beaten by a girl. No one looks at a woman well who puts herself over a man.“ he had told me. I think the only reason he allowed me to compete was that it was my birthday. 

Before I started, Brandon had come to me and looked me in the eye. He had smiled and wished me well. Before he left, he looked me in the eye and warned, “Not too good, Lyanna. Father will be angry.” 

I could have won. I could feel it. Normally, I would miss a shot or two but on that clear morning, I felt unstoppable. My eye was sure and my aim straight. It was just me and the target and the feeling of winning, doing what I wanted. I didn’t even know what round I was in when I heard Father cough.

His cough was a warning and a reminder. I made sure to miss the targets. A squire from the Manderly’s won. I placed fourth and Father would barely look at me. 

It feels wrong like I don’t belong here or anywhere. I know my place. My place is to marry a Lord and help him rule and have his children, but all I want is to ride and fight. I wonder if I ran away to Essos if I could become a sellsword.

I was nursing my bruised ego when Robert came upon me in the godswood. I had been pretending a stick was a sword and I was attacking an oak tree. He came behind me and said in a teasing voice, “My Lady Lyanna, I do not think the oak has caused you any harm.”

I had felt childish at him seeing me act as such and I stopped. I had laughed. Robert spoke, his blue eyes the color of the sky, “You reminded me of Argella Durrandon today with your bow. You could have won the archery tournament today. If you were a man, you would be a formidable foe with a bow in your hand.” 

My smile was huge and I could not stop smiling, as if I was simple. I heard my Father’s voice in my ears, “No one likes a woman who oversteps.”

I spoke to him, “I am passable.”

He laughed and threw a stone to skim across the reflecting lake, “You shouldn't have thrown the contest. Let the lords and squires nurse their hurts, but do not hide your skill. I imagine you would do well with a short sword. “

“My father will not allow me anything more than a bow. I begged him for a sword but he says it is mannish. Ser Rodrik used to let me train with my brothers Father saw it and forbid it, especially now that I am a woman grown.”

“Why?” he asked stepping closer to me in the twilight.

“It is unbecoming and nothing good comes of a woman with a sword,” I told him my Father’s words.

Robert laughed, a lovely rich sound. “A sword would look good in your hand, Lya.” 

I could not resist the smile across my face. 

He spoke, “I will teach you for your name day present. I will teach you how to use a sword. You could use my sword but I think it is too heavy. We will start with something smaller, a practice sword for a squire. I will look in my things and see what I can find.”

Angry at his dismissal of my strength, I spoke, “Do you think I am not strong enough for a man’s sword?”

“It is more than strength to hold a sword, though I do not think you could hold a man’s sword for too long. A sword is built for skill and size. A sword should be an extension of your body, of your arm. A smaller sword will suit you better. I did not mean any slight. It is the truth of it. I will look in my things or the armory and see what I can find. I can teach you what I can in the afternoon before supper. My gift for you.”

Impulsively, I hugged him. 

 

Robert pulled away and rubbed his chin. “ Perhaps, you could bring a lady or a maid to chaperone you. We do not want anyone to think the wrong thing. We could meet here in the godswood.” 

I could scarcely believe it, “You would teach me?”

“Yes, I will. If it would make you smile, I would be glad to.” 

The next day, I brought Benjen as my chaperone. I must say he was surprised when I brought Benjen as my chaperone, instead of a maid. But in typical Robert fashion, he laughed and has started teaching both of us. 

 

We have practiced every afternoon for a whole week. I have had to wear dresses with long sleeves to hide the bruises. Old Nan has said a woman with a sword is destined for a bad end but you cannot know how good it feels, how powerful. It feels like it fits like I should carry one always on my hip. We practice until I am exhausted and Robert was barely breaking a sweat.

I am a quick learner and every day I learn more. 

One of the nicest things about practice is that after we will sometimes talk. Robert is a good listener. I tell him about my life in Winterfell and my dreams to see all of the Seven Kingdoms. He tells me that after he leaves Winterfell, he will be going to Storm’s End to see his parents return from Essos on the King’s business. When he speaks, all I can think of is how big his life is. Storm’s End, King’s Landing, the Vale, Essos, the King. He says these words like they are places everyone can go and see like it is not special.

Tonight I told him, “I cannot even imagine the freedom to travel like you do. I have never been as far south as the Moat Cailin. I have never been anywhere.”

Robert looked at me, his face gentle and his voice like rich honey, “Maybe you could visit us at the Eyrie. Perhaps, your father would allow you to go see your brother. Jon Arryn is a fine Lord and he would keep you safe.” 

Maybe, he would but I doubt it. The world is such a big place and I would like to see all the whole of the Seven Kingdoms before I die.”

Robert laughed and said, “Perhaps, you will.”

I swear he is the most handsome man I have ever met and so gentle and full of life. I find it hard to think about what will happen when he leaves Winterfell.


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Jonelle, 

I am sending this letter with Wade, the stable boy. I paid him three pennies to bring this to you safely. 

I know that even as I send this letter and that you have already probably heard of the hunting accident yesterday. I am fine. Just a twisted ankle and a few scrapes, nothing more. However, I am suffering from something unseen and wild and unimaginable. I think I am in love and what’s more I think he loves me back. I am afraid to write it down for fear of ruining it but I think he is the man I want to marry. I can think of no one better suited for me. It is Robert Baratheon. 

He is a fighter and a good man. He has many friends and is spoken of highly by my own brother. He is handsome and strong and can ride. He can almost keep up with me and Brandon. He never complains and he is always in good spirits. He has a good nature and has won over Brandon by his humor and company. 

Father cannot protest too much of his birth. He is the heir to Storm’s End and the cousin to the King. Father could not find a better match unless he married me to Prince Rhaegar. 

The best thing about Robert is he knows me for what I am and he still loves me. He loves that I shoot and want to fight with a sword. In fact, he has even been teaching me. I think he is the only man who will ever make me happy. 

 

I am sure you want to hear about the accident. We were hunting in the wolfswood. Father had not gone with us but I had Brandon, Ned, Robert, Roger and Elbert, as well as several men from the Keep. Father had not wanted me to go but Ned had asked Father and Father had relented. 

Barely outside the eyeshot of Winterfell, Robert and Brandon started drinking and boasting, trading stories. Roger joined in. Ned seemed to grow quieter and hesitant, but even he drank a bit. I felt tempted to drink with them but I did not think they would share. Plus, I did not think it was lady-like and I did not want them to think I was not mannered. 

I was being boastful and proud, anxious to show my skill. I was trying to show off, to show Robert and all of them, that I wasn’t a silly weak woman, but a hunter and a tracker. We were close to a boar. The dogs had its trail. It had been slightly wounded and we were trying to get it out of the brush. 

Robert had smiled at me, “You are all bravery and steel, aren’t you?” 

He had said it in a proud sort of way that made me smile. Robert had heard the noise and told me to stay back. Brandon had told me to get on my horse. Ned had told me to get on my horse. Ser Rodrik had said if I didn't get back on my horse he would send me back on Winterfell. Brandon and Robert were in the front with swords and small shields. The edge in Ser Rodrik's voice spoke a warning and I had decided to get back on my horse. 

I turned and Robert was in front of me. He leaned next to me. “You might be small but you are formidable, Lya.”

When I passed Brandon, he had whispered: “Show off.”

But his voice had pride. 

I felt the danger in my stomach before I heard the squeal. The boar we had injured had turned back and rushed from the woods. In one steady movement, Robert grabbed me and swung me out of the way as the boar rushed to gore me with its tusks. With his other arm, he brought the sword down in the back of its neck. I could feel the strength and grace of his muscles moving. The beast screeched its death howl and the men cheered. 

Ned was by my side, immediately, “Are you alright?” 

“My ankle hurts,” I said, heart racing in my ears. 

Brandon was thanking Robert, patting him on the back. 

Robert came to me. 

“Thank you,” I had said trembling with fear and adrenaline. 

“No need to thank me.” Then, Lord Baratheon scooped me up like I was a small child and set me on my horse. I could not breathe. I was ashamed and excited and mad for him. I thought to see disappointment or anger but his blue eyes burned with a light and his smile was warm.

When we returned to Winterfell, Father was so angry with me that he made me go and rest. Father was also so grateful to Robert that he allowed them to drink and play cards. I could hear them in my room, musicians playing, men laughing, boasting. 

I could not sleep. Finally, I dressed in my dressing robe and snuck into the kitchen. I sent Sue to go and fetch Robert without letting on to my brothers who wanted to talk to him. When he turned the corner and saw me, I saw his whole face light up in the darkened hallway.

“Lya, what are you doing here? The girl? Ohh, you sent her?” His smile was enough to light for the whole castle. 

I spoke as a woman would, bravely and confident, or at least I tried, “I think I know what you could give me for my name day present.” 

He was close and warm. His face was flushed from drinking and it made his blue eyes even bluer. Robert spoke, a whisper “What's that?”

The way he looked at me was so intense I swear I was blushing in the dark as brightly as a fire. 

“Robert, I want a kiss.”

He did it. Robert pulled me in his arms and kissed me. A real kiss. My first kiss and it was perfect. I even opened my mouth. My heart raced and his hand pulled me tight against his big chest. I can’t even begin to describe it. It was perfect. I am in love with Robert Baratheon. 

You can’t even begin to know how good it feels. I swear no one will ever make me feel this way again. 

If my father doesn’t consent to let me marry him, I will run away and join the Silent Sisters. I swear I will. Anyway, I must go. I will try to write soon. I hope all is well.

Lyanna


	7. Chapter 7

To Lord Steffon Baratheon, Lord Paramount of the Stormlands and the Lord of Storm’s End,

 

Father, 

I recently received your letter that you have arrived in Lys and will be heading to Volantis. I am sending this to the Triach, Mykessos Vhassar’s manse. I believe you were invited to stay there and I am hoping you receive this letter and are able to send word before you leave Essos. This is a matter of great importance.

 

I never thought I would write this letter, but I believe I have found the only woman who I will ever love. I would like to ask your permission that we might wed. The girl is Lyanna Stark, Ned’s sister and Lord Rickard’s only daughter.

Lyanna is a beautiful girl and unlike any girl, I have ever met and I think I could live my whole life and never meet another woman like her. She gives me great joy. She is highborn and a noblewoman of proper breeding. She is all I would ever need as a wife. With her by my side, I am sure that it would keep me on the right path. She would be all I needed to guide me. 

Lyanna is from House Stark, an ancient and honorable line, as ancient and honorable as any in the Seven Kingdoms. Her Father is the Warden of the North and the Lord of Winterfell. I cannot think of another more eligible lady from a Great House. I know you have mentioned Princess Elia Martell, but you know as well as I, that the Lords of the Marches would not be able to swallow a Dornish Princess as the Lady of Storm’s End. 

Father, send word as soon as you read this and let me know what are your thoughts. This idea has come to me and I want to act on it before I leave Winterfell. Of course, I will not act without your permission but send word quickly if you are able.

Tell Mother I send my love. I will meet you at Storm’s End in two moon’s turns and we will talk more. Can you imagine me, a married man, and what’s more, this is what I want? Perhaps, I am maturing after all.

Have a safe journey,

Your son,

Robert


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Uncle Jon,

I am writing to tell you about our trip. I know I should be returning to the Vale soon enough, but I wanted to send this before we returned.

Lord Stark has been a gracious host. He appears a stony individual at first, but I believe he is willing to speak and talk to you at length about the concerns you have. Perhaps, you should invite him to the Eyrie. I briefly talked with him about some of the more pressing concerns and he listened and reflected but said he would be glad to speak to you in person.

As to the other matter, you are correct and Lyanna Stark is a lovely, young woman. She is young but pretty and there is a hint of her future. She may grow into one of the most beautiful women in the Seven Kingdoms. She is stubborn and strong, wild and without the artifice of other ladies. Even with her wild nature, she is bewitching and kind-hearted. However, she is like most young women, and she is wild for Robert.

I don’t really know all that has transpired with them. I did come upon them in the godswood and they were kissing. It seemed childish and a bit romantic. If you could have seen her the way she looked at him, I believe the girl is entirely smitten with him.

Later, I pulled Robert aside and asked him what he had done. He had sworn that all he has done is kiss her and that her youngest brother has played chaperone. I warned him to be careful. Lord Stark does not appear to be a man to suffer fools. Robert swore he had done nothing of the sort. In fact, he said to me that it is his greatest wish to marry the girl and love her for his life.

Lyanna Stark may be a maiden still, but she has given Robert her heart. I have no desire to compete with my bride for her affection. Lady Stark’s heart is stolen. Perhaps, you should look elsewhere to find me a match. The Vale is full of eligible ladies. 

Yours in all things,

Elbert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So-- there is a tiny glimpse of Jon Arryn putting feelers out to other lords about potential concerns about King Aerys. Just a glimpse


	9. Chapter 9

Dear diary,

Today, Robert and Ned left for the Vale. I am heartbroken. I have never been like this over anything before and I doubt I will ever feel anything like this again. Before he left, Robert slipped me a note. It said, “Wait for me, Lyanna. I swear you will be my wife.” 

Two nights ago, after we were finishing practice in the godswood, Robert took my hand in his hand. He bent down on one knee. I remember how blue his eyes were and how fiercely my face burned with excitement. He spoke, “Lya, I want to go to your father and ask for your hand in marriage. I know it is not the way and that my father should broker it with yours. I have sent a letter to Essos to get my father’s permission. But I do not want to leave here without you promised to me. I love you. However, I will not do this if you do not want me to be your husband. What do you say?”

His voice was deep and warm, slightly vulnerable. All I could hear was my heart beating so fast and my words, “Yes! Yes. Of course, Robert. I love you.”

In a second I was in his arms, and he was kissing me. I was so happy. Benjen pretended to not see or hear but Robert was so happy he grabbed Benjen and hugged him, as well.

 

After dinner, Robert asked to speak to my father privately. For as long as he was in father’s chambers, I felt my chest squeezing with nerves until they both emerged with slightly angry faces. Father ordered me to my rooms. Later, Father came and asked me why young Lord Baratheon had come seeking my hand?

It was angry and accusatory. I told him that we had grown fond of each other and I loved him. I never spoke of the lessons or the practice sword and shield under my bed.

Father said he did not like Robert. He was impulsive and ruled by his heart. He was offended that he had asked without his Father. He told me that I would not be happy by such a man. At this, I protested, certain I would be punished for defiance. I told my father I love him and I will only ever love him. I spoke with boldness and told him if he denied me Robert I would run away. 

At this, I saw the anger flash in his eyes and I knew I had gone too far. I waited for him to slap me or some other punishment. Instead, my father left my rooms, angry. Later that night, when I opened the door, my father had stationed two men outside my room. For the last few days, they have accompanied me everywhere. I have not been able to practice or even try to speak to Robert. 

It has been terrible torture to see him and not be able to speak to him or hold his hand. 

When Robert left, he smiled and kissed my hand. He lingered on my hand too long. I could feel my father’s anger rising and Ned seemed ruffled at his dear friend. But when Robert met my eyes, he spoke, “Stay well, my Lady. I hope to see you soon.”

His words were so loaded with meaning that I blushed. 

I watched him leave Winterfell and I wonder if he will remember to write or will he forget me when he goes to the Stormlands. After all, the women of the South are all fair and sweet and full of manners. They never want to use swords or swear or drink ale with their brothers. I hope he will not forget me. 

As soon as the party for the Vale left, the two guards suddenly found other things to do. I immediately went and hid the practice sword and shield in the crypts behind Lady Arya, Cregan Stark’s beloved first wife. 

Tonight, Brandon and I drank ale in the small dining room after Father retired. Benjen was with us but the ale made him sleepy and he fell asleep in front of the fire. 

Brandon spoke, “You will forget about him. You will see. Girls are like that.” 

I grew angry at Brandon and how easily he dismissed me. “Brandon, I will never change my feelings for Robert Baratheon. Never. Ever. I love him and you know I am not a stupid girl who believes in stupid girl stories. This will not fade. This is real love. This is true love.” 

Brandon looked at me. I thought he was going to make a joke. Brandon was always making jokes and teasing me. But his face grew serious and a bit sad. He reminded me of Ned. Brandon took my hand and squeezed it. He laughed but it sounded sad and unlike him. “I will marry Catelyn Tully and Father says after that is done, Ned will be promised to marry Barbery. Lya, if you think he is the man you want to marry, I will talk to Father on your behalf. One of us should get to marry someone we want."

He hugged me and I felt so warm. Brandon has always loved me. If anyone can persuade Father, Brandon can. I felt hope for the first time in days.

I am so glad when all my brothers are home. 

Brandon will leave at the end of the week and it will just be me and Benjen and boring Winterfell.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's probably a bit formal but then it is comparative to the Middle Ages...

Dear Robert,

I just received your letter. Tomorrow your mother and I are leaving Essos but I wanted to get this letter out on the next ship. Your mother is overjoyed with your words as am I. Already, she is planning a wedding. You have my blessing and my goodwill. 

I think it is an excellent choice. The Starks are a great house and I am sure she is a wonderful girl. Ned has been your foster brother and this would bring the two of you closer.

When I return to Storm’s End, I will write Lord Stark and broker the match for you. If need be, perhaps, we will go to Winterfell and meet him. Or we will send him an invitation to Storm’s End. I will make all the arrangements. Worry not.

There is one consideration. You have said that young Lady Stark is but twelve. Considering the lady's age, it would be good to keep you betrothal at three years. However, that is not a bad thing. It will give you time to mature and become a more considerate husband. There is much to be a good husband. We will talk more when I return but know how glad I am that you have chosen to marry.

As soon as I return to Storm's End, we shall talk. 

Love, 

Lord Steffon Baratheon


	11. Chapter 11

The Seventh Month of 278 A.C

Dear Robert, 

I think of you day and night. I think about the kiss you gave me in the wolfswood the day after you saved my life from the boar. I think about your bravery and your skill and I cannot think of anything else. I think about how you went to ask permission to marry me before even asking your father. 

 

I think about how we will be married and I will live in Storms End. I think how you said we will go to the Reach and Tarth, to King’s Landing, and Sunspear, and Oldtown, and Casterly Rock. I think about all our adventures and I think I am so lucky to have you. I am lucky because you love me for who I am.

I hope you get this letter. I have risked my father’s anger to send it. I am waiting for your letters. I look for them everyday. 

Yours Always, 

Lyanna


	12. Chapter 12

The Eighth Month of 278 AC

Dear Robert, 

Today, we received news that your parents have died in a storm off the coast. How are you? How are your brothers?

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your grief. I feel like a small girl because I have thought you had forgotten to write to me or maybe that you had forgotten entirely about me. Yet, you have been dealing with an incredible loss. I feel like an ill-tempered child.

I wish I could be there and comfort you. I lost my mother when I was too young to remember but I could not bear to lose my father. Even if he is stern and sometimes difficult, I cannot imagine him not being here. Please know my thoughts are with you even though I cannot be there with you. 

Please write soon so that I know you are well.

Yours Always,

Lyanna


	13. Chapter 13

In the Eighth Month of 278 AC.

To Robert Baratheon, Lord Paramount of the Stormlands and Lord of Storm’s End, 

It is with a heavy heart that I offer my sympathies on the death of your mother and father. Lord Steffon Baratheon was a good man and though I only met him once, I found him to be a man of honor. 

I appreciate your letter and your commitment to marrying my daughter, Lyanna. I must admit that it would be a very advantageous marriage for her. To be Lady Baratheon of Storm’s End would be a very fine match for her. However, she is my only daughter and I would not want her so far from home. Lyanna is a wild thing, barely a woman and she needs more time.

Please accept my gratitude at such a match but I must decline at this time.

Sincerely,

Rickard Stark

Lord of Winterfell  
Warden of the North


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Robert

It has been several months and still, I have received no word from you. I go at great lengths to send these letters to you without my father’s knowledge. Any letter would do. Even a small one. I fear you have found another love. I fear you never loved me. I fear you have given up on me. 

I dare to write these words that have been in my heart out of desperation. But I want you to know. Even if my father refuses, I would run away to be with you. I do not care if I was a ruined woman for all my days. I would rather be with you and happy and in love than in a loveless marriage with another. 

I wonder if when you read these words you will be scandalized and no longer want me for your wife. Please write soon. I think of you often and every day that passes with no word makes me think that I am easily forgotten and you have a capricious heart. 

Always Yours,

Lyanna


	15. Chapter 15

On the seventh month of the year 279 after Aegon's Conquest 

To Rickard Stark, Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North

Dear Lord Rickard, 

I am writing to you to have you reconsider young Robert’s offer. I know that the boy is tempestuous. It is in his nature to be impulsive and quick to react. I know he has written several letters over the past few months and you have refused every one. I know that Robert seems a bit excitable and hot-blooded. I have fostered him and seen all his good qualities. He is quick to act but that means he is quick to laugh and quick to forgive. He is a good man and his men would follow him gladly. He is a good leader and he has the heart of a warrior. He will make a good father and he will be in a position to give your daughter what you need.

Also, I know you plan to wed your eldest boy to Lord Tully’s girl. It would not be a bad thing to wed your daughter to a Baratheon. We live in times that grow more dangerous. If there was ever a need for alliances, it is now. Robert and the Stomlanders would be a good ally in difficult times. Storm’s End has never been captured. Your daughter would be safe and the Baratheons are cousins to the King. 

I cannot change your heart, old friend. I know you too well to try. But perhaps, reconsider your options. Who else would be better positioned to marry your daughter? Of those men, would anyone be able to make her the Lady of such a great, noble, and well-positioned House?

The boy is still young and headstrong and stubborn as boys are. Robert has not approached the matter with the tact of a man but he says love has gotten in his mind’s way. He spends his days here thinking of your daughter. I promise you, Robert will grow up and he will surprise us all with what he might become. 

Also, Lyanna seems taken with him. Perhaps, let them have their way in this matter. It would do no one harm to have the North and the Stormlands in such an alliance.

Sincerely.

 

Jon Arryn

Lord of Eyrie and Warden of the West


	16. Chapter 16

In the third month of 280 A.C

Dearest Robert, 

I am attaching this letter to father’s message consenting to our betrothal. He has finally accepted. I do not know who interceded but I thank the Old Gods and the New that he has consented. My father does not often change his mind. This morning, my father came to my room to tell me about his decision. I was so happy I hugged him. 

He had brought me something as well as new of his decision. He brought me a small plain wooden box. Inside was dozens of letters written by you. Father had been keeping all the letters you have written. Most were unopened. I could not believe he kept them from me. I have spent months, certain that you have forgotten about me, but you have been writing all along, My sweet Robert. 

I have taken your letters and read them and then re-read them. There were so many and they were all so sweet. You must have written at least one a fortnight. I remember you telling me how you hated to write but you did and each one meant so much more to me because of the service.

 

My favorite line goes like this... 

“Do not lose hope, Lya. I will fight for you with my last breath my last moments. I have never not gotten what I have wanted and was willing to fight for. I will fight to have you as my bride.”

 

Father says it is your wish that I come to visit the Vale next year. Lord Jon Arryn has already sent word to formalize the plans. I can hardly believe that he assented to me visiting the Vale. I am certain if Ned was not there to chaperone, my father would not have agreed.

I cannot wait to see you. I cannot wait. Even if it is a few months, it will seem like forever. 

With all my heart, 

Your betrothed,   
Lya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So -- Robert and Lyanna are betrothed. The next chapter or two will take place in the Vale in 280. (This won't be canon but I want them to spend some time together...) Also in the Vale, will be where the feather is explained.


End file.
